


The Cries Of Angels

by dplusjluv21



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Character Death, I cried writing this guys, LOTS of violence, M/M, Memory Loss, Super sad ending, first post ever, psychological problems, yeah all that bad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1487779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dplusjluv21/pseuds/dplusjluv21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Where Titans are eliminated, and Levi is convicted for the deaths of his own squad by the citizens of the walls. He has no memories about what happened when his squad died, and he's classified as a psychopath. A certain Eren Jaeger, who has lost his memory as well but still has fragments of Titans and what /really/ happened, then appears to confess that he's always loved Levi. Things don't go as he planned...</p><p>((Sorry if this sounds confusing. I somehow thought of this in my crazy wack-job head and yeah...review if you like or if you have a question about something, I'll be happy to answer (: ))</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cries Of Angels

A/N: idk I wanted to write a bit of Insane!Rivaille and Eren stuff. So here you go! ((READ THIS PLEASE: In this fic, Eren was part of the Survey Corps but has no memories of being a Titan after his fight with the Female Titan in the woods (when he’s eaten and then saved by Levi). None of the civilians know for sure if Eren was a Titan shifter. This takes place once all Titans are eliminated and all the characters are around 25. I call Levi ‘Rivaille’ in this fic because I felt that the name fit his personality in this fic better. You’ll learn the rest later :D))

**Prepare to have your feels ripped apart**

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eren walked inside with soft steps into the prison of Wall Maria. The dripping of leaky pipes and the stench of unbathed convicts made him queazy, but he knew he had to do this, wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t do this. So he gulped loudly and proceeded with short footsteps towards cell #107.

The other convicts of the jail stared at him, looking at his taller form, and he trembled. The one leading him towards the cell he so desired to be at was the warden named Erwin, formerly the Commander of the Survey Corps. Eren remembered the look in his blue eyes when he had said he wanted to see prisoner #107.

“Y-Your kidding, right? That French psychopath never gets any visitors.”

“Well I really need to...I heard that he’s on--on---”

“Yeah yeah alright. But I’d beware if I were you, he tends to be a little vicious with new people.”

And here he was, trying desperately to avoid threatening looks as they went deeper into the prison halls. Eren stared at the numbers to each cell. 99, 100, 101. As they went nearer to the one he desired, the more his heart pound. He’d loved the man for a long time, ever since he’d laid eyes on him as the Survey Corps had done their monthly walk towards town after one of their expeditions. Bandaged up, bruised, near death; but Corporal Rivaille had always stood out in his mind. At first it had been merely a honorific thing, but as he grew up, he knew he was in love. He’d been so scared of this feeling towards a man almost twice his age that he hadn’t even told Armin or even Mikasa; it’d been something he’d keep to himself and never tell. His love had pursued him to train and get into the Survey Corps, and even got a personal beating from the Corporal because his life was in danger for some reason he didn’t remember. None of the other soldiers had ever told him why when he’d lost his memory; he didn’t have any other memories besides the very few he’d been told. The only thing he was able to remember when he’d woken up in the wagon next to Mikasa, on their way back to Wall Rose after their failed mission, was the flooding feeling of love towards the Corporal.

But no one called him ‘Corporal’ anymore. Rumor was that he’d gone crazy when a Female Type-Titan had eaten some sort of Rogue Titan, and had killed his own squad in his frenzy, earning him a place in jail. Others said that there was no Rogue Titan, and that all the pressure from the Survey Corps had caused him to go down the deep end and kill his squad. It was still a mystery.

“Alright here we are. Cell One-Oh-Seven. Inmate--Rivaille Heichou.” Erwin knocked on the iron bars a few times to wake the man up, and Eren flinched. This wasn’t how he’d wanted to meet his true-love...not when the man was only hours away from the death penalty. It’d even been hard to schedule his appointment because of that fact, and because Eren had no connection to Rivaille whatsoever besides being an addition to his squad for reasons the civilians didn’t understand. 

Something turned in the rusty old bed in the cell, and Eren faintly saw the face of the Corporal. As the convict sat up, Eren saw that he hadn’t changed much besides a few wrinkles. Same gray eyes, same pale skin, same bored expression, but there was something else. Something that was somehow…evil looking.

Meanwhile, Rivaille’s eyes widened as he saw Eren. Flashbacks went through his mind, and Erwin used his arm to push Eren behind him. “Be careful, he’s pretty dangerous when he gets that look in his eye.” Eren stared, afraid for his life, just looking at the man. The crazed look in his eyes wasn’t a good sign, but Eren didn’t care. It’d been his decision to visit him, and he certainly wasn’t turning back now.

He turned to Erwin. “Um, is it possible for me and Corp--I mean Rivaille, to have twenty minutes alone in his cell?”

Erwin’s eyes grew shocked. “I have to strongly go against your decision. You do realize that it could cost you your life, right?”

“I don’t care.” That shocked Erwin.

But he unlocked the door. “Well, as the warden of the prison, I can’t deny someone from visiting an inmate one last time when they’re on death row...but be careful.” Erwin leaned into Eren’s ear. “He’s been rumored to kill those who love.”

Eren gulped. Here he was ready to confess those very feelings to him. But he stiffened his muscles and replied very simply. “I’ll be alright.”

Erwin nodded and slowly walked away from the hallway, closing the door to the warden’s office. And Eren opened the cell with it’s iron bars, his heart pounding hard against his chest, and his mind yelling ‘Don’t do it! You’ll only be putting yourself in danger!’ It took all his strength to mutter a small “Hello.”

Rivaille stared at the person in front of him, trying hard to place who it was. Those green eyes looked so familiar, but he couldn’t place where he’d seen them from. All his memories of his previous crazed actions that got him in this place only came to him in flashbacks he didn’t understand. Flashbacks of murders; there had been a girl with pale hair and brown eyes, a blonde male, a brunette male, a glasses-wearing female, a male who for some reason had blood around his tongue...they all haunted him. But he hadn’t remembered killing any of them. He’d only remembered there being a boy he’d tried to avenge. Something in the person standing before him reminded him of this.

He chuckled maniacally, flashbacks pouring in front of his eyes. “Who’re you, kid?” 

Eren looked into the crazed look of Rivaille and shivered. That voice sounded too gruff to be his, and there seemed to be something going on in his mind. He knew that the man didn’t know he was Eren because they both had lost their memories, so he decided not to press on that. “My name’s Eren Jaeger.”

Something in the name stuck Rivaille in the chest, and he fell backwards. Eren ran to help him up, but was pushed away hard against the wall. He rubbed his arm, but still didn’t leave. At least not when he wasn’t sure what the male was thinking.

He looked up at Rivaille, who had somehow gotten near him. Those pale eyes seemed to be looking intently into his soul that his heart pounded and he feared his life. “R-Rivaille...I--”

“Shut up.” He got closer to the boy’s face, looking at every detail in his scared expression, and wondering what he was even doing here. “Why’re you here anyways?”

Eren gulped. He wasn’t very keen on telling him his feelings, not after what Erwin had said. “He tends to kill those who love...” A bead of sweat made it’s way down his face. His mind raced with responses that wouldn’t possibly get him killed.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Heh!” Rivaille laughed, a maniacally evil one, one that Eren had never heard from him in all his life. “Whaddya mean ya wanted to see me? That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard since the moment I lost my memory! Ha!” He continued to cackle, which only frightened Eren even more.

“You know,” He said softly, “You always were my favorite Captain.”

The name ‘captain’ made Rivaille’s skin tingle, and he started seeing random flashes before his eyes, such as a Survey Corps logo, blood-shot eyes, and Titans...oh the Titans...the vision of it made him fall to the dirty floor with his eyes wide open. His hands immediately went to clutch his skull as the gory things continued to evade his mind and caused him to yell.

“Rivaille! Are you alright!?” Eren instinctively ran and bent down to help the man, but was kicked away harshly once again. He could feel a bruise starting to form on his left shoulder. As he looked up at the inmate, he saw the man look at him crazily and instinctively backed away when he came a bit too close.

For a moment Eren though if he should leave right here and now, and leave Rivaille to just take his punishment without ever knowing his feelings. Except...he knew he’d really feel the pain of keeping everything inside. Such memories of happy time spent with the Corporal flooded inside him, and he inhaled swiftly.

“I missed you.” For a second he thought of all the things he’d said so far. ‘You were always my favorite captain’. ‘I wanted to see you’. ‘Hello.’ He wasn’t getting close to the truth, and he could tell Rivaille was getting bored because the man sighed.

“Is there a point to this or do I have to kill you by hand?” Eren’s body shook rapidly at the thought of a painful death, and he shut his eyes tightly.

 

“Yes there’s a point.”  

“Ha! And what may that be, boyo?”

“I love you.”

The jail became silent, the words bounced around Eren’s skull. He knew he was asking for it, was most likely going to be mocked for the rest of the convict’s life. But he didn’t care. He had to get his feelings out one way or another, and this was the way to do it for the current situation.

It was awkward for most of the few minutes as Rivaille let the news sink in, hearing those words he’d never heard since he was a young child. Young child...he cringed on the thought of his past, but it was too late. And so his life played inside of his mind.

His mother had died in labor and his father had taken care of him before dying of a heart attack. He’d been sent to a foster home until he was nine, only because his foster parents (who lived in a huge house in Sina) had been shot and killed in a robbery. Not only had Rivaille witness their deaths, he had killed the robbers himself only armed with a kitchen knife.

He’d lived on the streets after that, as a thug, living on random scraps of food dropped at him by a smiling pedestrian of Sina or a scowling rich person accidentally dropping some but feeling too much pride to even pick it up, or he’d steal some from the local farmers markets. It wasn’t enough but he got by. At least he’d made friends, there was Isabel and Farlan; they’d taken the poor Underground District by storm with their stolen 3D Maneuver Gear. Until they’d been taken in by the Survey Corps. It was where Rivaille had become a soldier and risen up to the rank of Corporal, and handpicked his squad.

Then the brat had to come and ruin everything.

“R-Rivaille?”

The name silenced the male. He snapped out of the flashing of his life before his eyes and gave an evil glare at the younger of the two. Those eyes. That hair. That olive skin. That voice. Those clothes. The sudden realization that this was the first person he’d seen that he had actually remembered struck him like a second wind, and he bowed his head down; not from respect, but far from it. It was in sorrow. 

“How...” He couldn’t seem to get the rest of the words out of his sore throat and mouth, but Eren looked at him with widened eyes. What was he going to say? He wasn’t really hoping for a confession of any sort. At least something...civilized. He slowly took a step forward towards the man, but Rivaille turned away with his head still ducked down.

He was having a mental breakdown. But somehow he managed to get those words out of him. “How...” He looked up at Eren with the same crazed face many had said he had made when killing his own squad. “How dare you.” His pupils were small and a furious grin unlike any Eren had ever seen was printed on his face. He lashed out, getting up quickly and jamming his two hands into the wall of the cell, affectively trapping Eren in his arms.

“How dare you.” He repeated again, eying the young adult. “You ruined everything. My squad...my squad...they died because of you! Even if I’ve been convicted of their deaths, it was really you who killed them, huh!? You...” He looked down at the floor and spit into Eren’s face. 

“You monster!” He punched him in the face, making the brunette fall pitifully to the ground. Blood streamed out of his nose, dripping quickly onto the floor, and he looked into the insane eyes of Rivaille. The pounding of his heart escalated dangerously high as he looked at him. This wasn’t Rivaille. Was it? He had no time to think before the male’s boot was roughly pushed into his face. He groaned in pain and immediately remembered the court. He could vividly see a younger Rivaille kicking him in the same fashion as he was chained and being tried for something. Crimes he didn’t remember. Was it really because he’d killed Rivaille’s squad? No, that wasn’t right, he knew it wasn’t right. But then why? The one word flooded through his body. Why oh why oh why. He knew there was an important detail of all this he was forgetting. When he had awakened for the first time, what was he doing there? What happened? His mind scrambled, and he fell on his hands and knees the second Rivaille’s boot was mercilessly pulled away from his face.

“Monster.” Rivaille chanted the word over and over subconsciously. He knew there was a connection to the Titans and Eren. There had to be. Even if he couldn’t remember, he knew what the younger male was deep inside. “Monster. Monster. Monster.”

Eren looked down at the cold cement, tears streaming down his face as his broken heart surfaced inside of him. He clutched his chest and howled in pure misery. But then he paused. He’d heard those yells somewhere. Somewhere in his fragments of memory he had heard that animalistic cry somewhere. Ignoring it, he gave a pleading look to Rivaille, who didn’t seem to want to smash his heart or his face any more at the moment. But soon enough Rivaille grabbed Eren by the hair and dragged him up, examining the bloody nose and smashed bones of the boy’s face. He punched him once more with his free hand, then released him to fall on the floor and kicked every part of his body until he knew the boy was close to passing out.

“No.” Rivaille muttered, staring at Eren’s fallen form. “I won’t beat you to death.” Eren let out a sigh when Rivaille walked away, but his fear heightened up to it’s limit when he saw the man holding a knife in his shaking right hand. He could hear himself panting hard, so scared for his life. Countless pleas left his tarnished lips. Even if he knew that it was futile.

Baby steps. Baby steps. Rivaille treaded slowly, in a psychotic manner, with his eyes focused intently on Eren and his mouth an awkward combination of a slight frown like his younger years. Eventually he reached his target and pointed the knife at Eren’s neck. He could feel the male’s breathing heighten even more as the tip of it poked at him. Eren’s pulse quickened rapidly, and he shut his eyes, not wanting to die but willing to accept it for Rivaille’s sake. But wait. What if he could help Rivaille? Somehow get him out of this daze? Risking his life, Eren jerked up and moved to the left, barely avoiding the sharp blade penetrating his chest.

“Rivaille listen to me! This...this isn’t you! Is this how you would have acted in the Survey Corps!?” He knew he was going overboard but he needed to say this in order to catch the man’s attention. He gulped. “Would that be what your squad would have wanted?” He looked at the man’s face and managed to barely dodge another one of his strikes. “Answer me!” 

But he couldn’t answer. His mind was numbed in his mental depression and shots of insanity mixing together to make a mental drug that kept him from being able to listen to a word said by this boy he now considered ‘enemy’. However, the comment about his squad managed to penetrate his numbed state and make him actually consider what he was doing. Something inside him told him ‘No!’; something inside him told him that his squad would be angry that he would kill the boy who had the guts and love to come to his cell before his death and declare his love for him. And then there was his psychopathic drug, numbing his thoughts and telling him he needed to kill this boy, who was his enemy. He had killed his squad! Or had he? He was too horribly confused to choose between the two and managed to trick Eren and stab him in the stomach.

Eren groaned in pain. clutching his gut, pulling Rivaille’s knife out and wanting to vomit as he saw his blood spray out of his intestines. He fell to his knees once more and clutched his middle, sobbing loudly, begging Rivaille to stop and think about what he was doing. But it did no good. Erwin himself had told him that the man was too far gone. That he kills people who feel the emotion called ‘love’. He stared into the crazed male’s eyes, silently begging for mercy whilst screaming “PLEASE!!” over and over again.

It did no use. Rivaille had to prepare for his finale. Eying the younger boy, he gave him a crazed smile along with an evil cackle that could scare anybody senseless. He laughed, and oh did he lap up Eren’s reaction like a dog, watching his sea green eyes struck with horror. Dramatically he grabbed his cruel blade and held it high, aiming for Eren’s heart, a crazed smile on his face and his pupils dilated so small, and his brain screaming at him to get on with it. He laughed once more and softly let out the last words Eren would hear.

“You fucking monster. You should have died instead.”

 

And he plunged the blade into Eren’s heart, releasing a fresh new wave of blood, and Eren started gasping loudly. He clutched onto his chest and found himself collapsing onto the unforgiving pavement of the cell. He could feel himself dying, he could feel himself beginning the steps into losing very quickly. His arm leaped forward towards Rivaille’s boot and stayed there, fist clenching and unclenching with each gasp Eren took. This was the end.

He looked up at the steel gray eyes looking maniacally at him, unforgiving, waiting for him to take that last breath. He managed to hold his hand out on the floor before exhaling one last time. Not before letting his feelings out. “I…love you…” His body slammed onto the floor and stayed there, unmoving, numb to any last abuse Rivaille wanted to give his dead body. Rivaille wanted nothing more than to bash the dead body to give it it's punishment. Only one problem.

 

He couldn’t.

 

No. Rivaille stared at the boy’s fallen figure in shock. He couldn’t comprehend what had made Eren still love him until the end. Why? What was so amazing about him that made him the subject of someone’s affection? He stumbled backwards and fell into a wall, the side of his head making contact. That one hit made everything come back to him, Titans…Eren…Rogue Titan…Eren in the Rogue Titan…biting his hand…that roar. All of his life came back to him. He remembered kicking the living shit out of Eren to protect him from the greedy Military Police, rescuing him when his hand transformed when the squad was about to kill him, letting him turn into a titan if he wanted to when they tried to escape the Female Titan on horseback, rescuing Eren from the Female Titan’s mouth by cutting her jaw in a single swipe.

It took him a long time to realize he was crying. He felt the salty tears running down his face and held a drop up for inspection. Why was he crying? (Eren, why are you crying?) He slammed his fists into the concrete and fought back a panic attack. All this information was hitting him so hard it felt like he was being physically punched with each memory. Somehow, in his clouded and foggy mental state, he felt a feeling he couldn’t comprehend start to penetrate his body. Slowly he turned around to face the bloody body of Eren, starting to get cold, no longer warm with love and excitement, no longer being able to laugh or smile or blush. That feeling flooded all through Rivaille’s veins, as if being filled with led. He felt heavy with…he couldn’t think of the word. He just saw Eren’s arm sticking out, palm up, as if still asking for sympathy Rivaille hadn’t been willing to give.

The last memory that came to him made him sob. Petra, Gunther, Auruo, Erd…all being killed by the Female Titan, Eren transforming to avenge their deaths, but instead almost getting killed, and Rivaille himself saving the boy. He held his stomach and sank to his heels, openly sobbing, the tears running down and dripping onto the cold cement, his howls waking up everyone in the jail. He felt guilt and extreme sadness take over his body as he crawled into the fetal position in order not to take his own knife and kill himself over the shame.

I was wrong. I was so wrong, Eren.

Why had he not listened? Why had he acted rashly and killed the boy who was actually telling most of the truth, even if he couldn’t remember it all? They had both lost their memories. And Eren certainly had more than Rivaille previously did. Eren knew most of what had really happened. And Rivaille didn’t believe him. He now understood why he really did belong in that jail waiting for death. Because he would eventually deserve far worse for killing someone so innocent. Someone who actually loved him when everyone else saw him as a criminal psychopath. A serial killer. A cold hearted murderer who killed those who love. He had no mercy on himself and grabbed his knife, not letting himself have the easy way out with suicide, but stabbing the knife completely into his arm and pushing up, creating a huge gash that spit out so much blood. He grabbed his other arm and raked it with scratch marks that squeezed out more blood. Even with that, he knew he deserved so much more torture. And something inside of him knew that there was something else he needed to do before his own death.

———————

5/26/110 Case—Rivaille Heichou

Dear Mr. Dot Pixis,

I’ve decided to write you this letter because of this particular case that happened to strike me in the gut. And we both know it has to be pretty bad for me to write you about it. But, well, here it goes.

Rivaille Heichou was found guilty in a murder trial, apparently he killed his own squad during the raid with the Titans (I know, that was pretty long ago, wasn’t it?). He’d been staying in his cell for the past 10 years when he was finally announced to get the death penalty in a few days.

Believe it or not, there was actually someone who wanted to see him, even though we both know that he was the most hated criminal of the time, being called a traitor. But this one boy of his squad, Eren Jaeger, requested to see him a few hours before his sentence. I hastily agreed to it, since the young man willingly wanted to see him. He requested for me to leave for a while and I did. You may ask why I did so, sir, but it was because I knew the boy had something important to do before the criminals death, and who was I to refuse him the right to reveal his secrets to someone about to die? 

I left for about 30 minutes when I heard these weird yelling sounds, as if someone was wrenching their guts out. I ran towards Rivaille’s cell and…well, you won’t believe what I found sir. I saw Rivaille clutching the dead body of his visitor Eren, while wailing at him to come back to him. I’m not sure if the inmate knew the boy was dead or not. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it, in all my years of being warden, I’ve never seen an inmate cry because of a dead person. Not once. Naturally I was on defense because I knew the criminal could kill me at any time (I had seen a knife next to him.) but he showed no harm. Now, believe me when I say this, Pixis, but the man actually looked at me with tears in his eyes and face. He showed me where he had cut himself with his knife and and actually begged for me to kill him myself. Of course I told him no and that he had to be killed in front of everyone, and he actually SMILED and said, “Ok, good. I want everyone to see my bloody death. I want everyone to see me die and know I deserved it and so much more.” I thought I was going crazy. But I knew he meant it. So I led him off into the killing room filled with all the civilians and shot him clean in the head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so happy to die.

But that’s my report. We don’t have a place to ship the body (he has no family), so we’re throwing it out into the ocean. Eren’s body…we don’t know what to do with it yet. He was the last Titan Shifter alive so we’ll have to preserve it good, but I’m not sure of the details. I’ll write if any advances in this odd case arise.

Yours Truly,  
Erwin Smith

**Author's Note:**

> Wahhh, I'm sorry guys! I promise my other fanfictions will be better, and sorry my first one on here had to be so depressing. I promise my next one will be sweet (and probably just smut because I know how my brain works haha)
> 
> EDIT: I might make a second reincarnation chapter :3.


End file.
